Old Navy Salt

Subject: Fwd: Old Navy Salt
This is forwarded only to those who will "get it."

The Navy Peacoat, I know that they don't issue them like they did in 1962...Those sonsuvabitches weighed two tons and were ALL WOOL...It took the entire wool production of thirty seven sheep over two years to make. They were the equivalent of a four-inch thick lead kimono. You could stand out in a driving rain and they could soak up thirty gallons of rainwater and become so heavy that your ankles broke and your femurs would punch their way through your pelvis. They came with two lined very warm pockets. And some REALLY stupid bastard in the Navy came up with a goofy uniform reg that forbid a sailor with frost bitten fingers from putting his hands in his pockets...Then the Navy created ratings called Boiler Tenders, Postal Clerks and Personnelman, who when they reached E-6, were handed a white belt and a Billy-club an SP armband and put the bastards in bus and train stations to walk around saying, "Hey Sailor...Get yer hands outta them pockets!" Then you ended up at Captain’s Mast and risked having your hands surgically removed so that you would not repeat the offense.
Take a look at the statue of the Lone Sailor in the memorial plaza down on Constitution Avenue in Washington DC...THE SAILOR HAS HIS HANDS IN HIS PEACOAT POCKETS...wonder what the jerk who made up the stupid regulation thinks every time he sees it? They actually keep a Navy nurse on duty to revive shore duty CPO's who pass out when they see that statue..."Oh my God...That bluejacket has his hands in HIS POCKETS." None of the sonsuvabitches ever hitchhiked home in February in single digit temperatures.
I once saw a modern peacoat...some Dacron and wonder fiber composition lightweight thing that remotely resembling an old time peacoat but weighing the same as a Victoria Secrets teddy...Why do they do it? Turned out cheap crap with severely reduced spec requirements and terribly reduced efficiency?
To say nothing of this idiotic seagoing aguaflage (stupid camouflage) to be worn by sailors...mark my word, American bluejackets are going to be laughed at and embarrassed by the ridicule if that silly Madison Avenue female dreamed up fashion statement ever gets issued...God help the poor bastard who goes overboard in a sea state with whitecaps. When they pass MAN OVERBOARD simply draw a line through his name on the WATCH, QUARTER AND STATION BILL...and pack the contents of his locker.
At some point, the Navy is going to find itself with a big cajones CNO...who is going to put his bluejackets back in uniforms dating back to the days when the United States Navy only knew VICTORY and never dined on the bitter tasting fruit of loss and defeat, endless go-nowhere wars...ass kickings and sitting duck duty chasing animals who have no fear of death. Once you start dressing sailors in carnival clown suits, things referred to as poopie suits and shitcan the uniforms worn by men who wore the WWII Victory medals (last VICTORY medals issued) and the sailors referred to THE GREATEST GENERATION you simply reinforce the loser culture...
You begin to gentle and socially refine the mixed gender sensitized force and put your forces in Girl Scout beanies and sloppy baggy pajamas with boots that no longer require shining...you lose the cockiness and "devil take the hindmost" attitude that characterized our military forces. In the days before this wonderful nation had to bribe its' manhood to fill the ranks, with money pan-handled from the Chinese...the same bastards that put the shrapnel in many of the vets suffering in VA hospitals (Whatever happened to financing wars by the issuance of WAR BONDS where AMERICANS and only Americans benefited from the interest involved in repayment? We wouldn't be in the shape we're in if we hadn't turned inherently military functions over to profit incentivized contractors, hired mercenary thugs, paid foreign contractor created police forces and Iraqi and Afghani Poor Quality Military Forces filled with terrorist sympathizers and people whose loyalty is to the highest bidder.
When did you hear of Naval Studies on the competence of present leadership like our Navy is currently involved in? All we need to do, is to bring back the two ton peacoat...bell bottoms, low jumpers...spit shined shoes...cocky looking white hats with wings and worn cocked over one eye or on the back of your head...allow bare breasted girls in ships insignias...beer ballgames...pier dumpster nightly conferences.... slush funds...frayed white hats...faded dungaree shirts, soft dungaree trousers...red lead and zinc chromate spattered Mammy Yoakum’s...and greasy snake neckerchiefs and simply "let sailors be sailors" and forge the sacred traditional bonds of becoming shipmates over beers consumed in seaport dumps from Hell to Hong Kong...and stop paying sonsuvabitches to join the finest organization on the face of God's earth...THE UNITED STATES NAVY...And oh yeah, don’t forget some Painless Nell Tattoos!

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